Chapter 3

Carol was blissfully silent, for which Rogue was silently thankful. Since absorbing the older woman, Rogue hadn't been able to have a moment to herself. Apparently the apparitions in her head had no need of sleep. They kept up an almost constant stream of chatter that allowed Rogue little time to organize her thoughts.

YOU'RE bothered by them? I'm stuck up here with them!

Rogue sighed as Carol snapped back into her consciousness. Carol was more talkative than the others. Cody had been silent for months. Logan kept to himself, nightmares aside. Erik talked a lot, but usually just to himself. Rogue was slowly learning to tune him out.. Carol, on the other hand, had an opinion on everything and was more than willing to tell Rogue about it.

You brought me here, sweetheart. Now you have to listen to me.

Rogue groaned and pressed her head into St. John's chest. The two kids had pooled what money they had to pay for a room at a dusty little motel just outside of New York City. They'd only had enough money to get a room with one bed, but they were too tired to really care. They'd spent most of the night traveling, using Rogue's newly acquired gift of flight.

STOLEN flying power.

'Hush,' Rogue thought. Carol snorted in her thoughts, but said nothing. Rogue was surprised that Carol's powers were still here. They hadn't faded a bit since Rogue attained them, which unsettled her. It didn't help that Carol was more vivid in her mind than the other people.

I bet you killed me. That's why I'm still here. Shouldn't I be gone by now?

'If only,' Rogue thought angrily, wishing she could fashion some kind of mental gag for the former invulnerable woman.

You could at least let me have a few moments of control. It's boring sitting around doing nothing.

'Like ah'd trust ya with control of mah body,' Rogue thought, 'Ah'd never get it back.'

At least I'd be having fun, instead of sitting here doing nothing. When was the last time you actually went out and did something? When I was your age, I was dancing and going out with boys.

'Yeah, well ya didn't have lethal skin. Ah don't want to hear about how perfect your life was.'

Oh boohoo, poor Rogue can't touch anyone because they might get hurt. That rule sure didn't apply to me, so save your whining. I knew you were trouble from the moment I saw you.

'Like ya were such a saint.'

I did what I thought I had to. I'm not going to apologize for trying to prove you were dangerous.

'And ah'm not goin' to apologize for teaching ya to stick your bothersome nose elsewhere, so why don't ya shut up and let me sleep?'

Carol was quiet for a moment and Rogue settled down to go to sleep. What am I supposed to do while you're unconscious?

"Ah don't care!" Rogue screamed, jerking St. John out of his slumber. "Sorry," she said to him sheepishly as Carol howled with laughter.

"It's alright," he replied, rubbing his eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah, sugar, Ah'm just adjustin' to everythin'. Ya can go back to sleep, if ya want."

He shook his head. "Nah, I needed to get up anyway. You look like hell, did you get any sleep?" When she shook her head, he gave her a stern look. "Rogue..."

She giggled. "Ya look like Mr. Summers when ya do that." St. John laughed in spite of himself. "Ah miss everyone already," Rogue said sadly. "Ya didn't have to come with me, sugar."

St. John shrugged. "Making sure you're okay is more important than sitting around, pulling pranks with Bobby. Besides, this is kind of an adventure. He grinned impishly at her and she smiled in spite of herself.

"So I have a question." His face went serious and he looked Rogue in the eyes. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but I'm curious."

Rogue surveyed his expression. "Ya look serious, sugar. What is it?"

"Why'd you do it." Rogue froze. He took her gloved hand and rubbed it. "Hey, it's alright. I'm not judging you. I was just wondering. I mean, you've always been so careful about touching people. But you just grabbed her like you didn't care. What made it different?"

How could she answer him? What he said was true - She'd put so much effort and energy into making herself as harmless as she could, knowing it was the only way anyone would ever truly feel safe.

There was a time, before her mutation, when Rogue had been a flirtatious, lively girl with a penchant for tank tops. Mississippi summers were hot, so she spent the bulk of her time at the community pool sunbathing with her friends. She remembered Saturday nights watching movies with her best friend Cody and how he used to tickle her mercilessly. Even now, she could feel his warm hands moving deftly up her sides. From his memories in her mind, she knew he'd loved the feel of her skin against his hands. To him, her skin had felt velvety and smooth. He'd always found it beautiful and desirable. When Rogue looked at her skin, all she saw was danger.

How do you explain hating yourself? It was her skin that put Cody in the coma. It was her people had to be scared of. She didn't like wearing thick gloves in the middle of summer. If she had it her way, she'd wear the little tops that Kitty and Jubilee were so fond of. But the one time she'd pushed aside necessity and gone to class in a tank top, she'd seen how the students literally froze at the sight of her bare skin. They didn't think it was beautiful like Cody had.

No one appreciated how careful she was. She wasn't doing it for herself, she was doing it for them. Rogue missed playfully touching people's faces and tickling their sides. She had to keep every emotion in check, lest she lose control and, accidentally or not, touch someone.

Rogue didn't get her nickname because she was sweet and controlled. The people at school had always seen her as sweet and mostly harmless. They didn't know her. If they could see her thoughts, they would have been horrified. They didn't know how violently angry it made her when people treated her like she had leprosy. Most of the students kept their distance from her, no matter how many layers of clothing she wore. How would they like it if no one wanted to be around them? And it wasn't like it was her fault either. She tried being sweet, hoping it would reassure them. If they believed she was harmless, they wouldn't run and she wouldn't feel so guilty over something she couldn't control. But it never happened that way. They continued to run and her frustration continued to build.

Carol had been the last straw. Rogue's frustration with her mutation only grew, even though a few of the people were slowly losing their fear of her. It grew every time Scott and Jean kissed in the hallway. It grew every time Jubilee and Kitty gave each other makeovers. She could never join in on the fun as they applied make-up to each other's faces. She'd hated the extra precautions Dr. McCoy had to make when handling her. She'd looked forward to Logan's return for months. Even though her friends accepted her as one of their own, Logan was the only one who made her feel truly human. He trusted her not to hurt him. He'd never seemed to notice her skin. He touched her without hesitation or reservation.

She had refused to lose all that to some blonde hussy.

Carol did what the others wouldn't let themselves do. None of them really trusted Rogue, but Carol was the only one who acted on it. Some of them had wanted to go in Rogue's head for a while, but it was Carol who'd voice the thought. There were a million other things Carol had done that Rogue discovered once she absorbed her.

Once you murdered me, you mean.

'Shut up, ya ain't dead,' Rogue thought.

Might as well be. You took my life from me. Go on and tell him, Rogue. Tell him that you did it because you couldn't handle competition. Tell him you hated me for trying to take your place. Tell him how you blamed me for everyone else's doubts and suspicions. They suspected and feared you before I ever came, you selfish little witch. Tell him.

'Ah'm warnin' ya...'

Tell him that you aren't sorry, Rogue.

Rogue stopped. She could hear Carol laughing. ,I>You can't hide anything from me, SUGAR. You're glad you put me in my place. You still hate me. You justified everyone's fears when you attacked me and you don't care.

'Ah don't hafta listen to ya.'

Yes, you do. Carol's voice was adamant. You can't turn me off because I'm a part of you now. If you still want to hate me, you have to hate a part of you. Isn't life funny? Not only do you get to share my life, but now you have to share your life with me.

'Shut up.'

You can't ever have an experience that's truly your own. I'm here, Logan's here, Magneto's here, even that cute little boy Cody is here. We're all a part of you now, hon. Do you suppose Cody hates you too, Rogue? I wonder if he still thinks you're such a precious little angel. You nearly robbed him of his life too. I bet he despises you and hates you. What's it like, Rogue, sharing your mind with a bunch of people who hate you? I bet even Logan's hated you at some point. Do you really think he cares for you now, now that you're basically a murderess, Rogue?

'SHUT UP!'

"Rogue, are you okay?" St. John's voice was full of concern. "What's going on?"

"Carol." Rogue said, eyes shut and teeth clinched. "Ah think ah hate her more now that ah know what's she's really like."

St. John was silent for a moment. "You know, I never wanted to leave home." Rogue opened her eyes and looked at him curiously. "I loved my mom," he continued. "Her and my dad used to take me to the park to play baseball every weekend. We were horrible, but it was alright because we were together."

He was quiet for a moment before continuing. "My dad died when I was nine. My mom was devastated. She wouldn't eat for days. I had to take care of her for a while. She kind of depended on me, you know? We got even closer for about 3 more years. Then she got remarried to this guy that I just hated. He was loud and obnoxious and nothing like my dad. My dad was this really suave guy, and here comes this jerk acting like he could ever replace him. What I hated even more was that my mom adored him. I just couldn't understand how she was so blind to what a jerk he was. He wasn't a bad guy, not really. It wouldn't really have made a difference who my mom married. I'd have hated them all."

He paused again, tears beginning to run down his face. "When my powers came," he said, his voice becoming choked. "I burnt the house down. I nearly killed him. It was Christmas Eve. My mom was lighting these scented candles that she loved. He was singing these stupid songs that made her laugh. I think I hated him more then than I ever did before. My dad used to sing at Christmas."

"I just wanted him to go away, you know? I wanted him to just leave right then and never come back. He and my mom were dancing and laughing like idiots and I just HATED him. The next thing I knew, the flames on the candles are burning brighter than they should have. He and my mom just stopped and started staring at them. His mouth was open like a big dumb fish and it just made me furious to watch him, standing there like an idiot. I got mad and... the flame leapt and his shirt caught on fire."

"John, ah..."

"You know what's worse?" He cut her off, tears running freely down his face. "I still hate him. He and my mom found out I was a mutant and that it was my fault. But he didn't hate me for it. He kept telling me it was alright, but I just hated him even more. I guess I wanted him to hate me because then I'd have an excuse to hate him back. Even after all of the time I've spent at the school learning not to hate people, I still can't make myself like the man. I still hate him. I probably always will."

Everyone, even Carol, was silent for a few moments. Then Rogue wrapped her arms around St. John and gave him a hug. "Ah understand," she said softly.

Poor guy...

For the first time, Carol's comments didn't piss Rogue off.

-----

Central Park was probably Rogue's favorite part of New York. When she was a child, her parents had taken her to New York for a visit. They'd spent an entire afternoon in the Park, riding the carousel and eating pretzels. St. John, fortunately, shared Rogue's love of Central Park, although carousels gave him motion sickness. He preferred the Belvedere Castle.

After traipsing around the Park for a while, the two stopped to rest and talk in Shakespeare's Garden. The Garden was empty, save a solitary woman sitting nearby.

It was St. John who first noticed the woman. She sat silently, staring off into space through jet black sunglasses. She was perfectly still, save the steady tapping of her fingers against her knees.

"That's a little eerie," St. John whispered, gesturing to the woman. "She doesn't look like she's waiting for anyone. She's just sitting there."

Rogue noticed the cane sitting near the woman. "She's blind," Rogue said curiously. "What is a blind woman doin' all the way out here, alone?"

St. John shrugged. "Ask her," he whispered.

They continued to watch the woman, who continued to sit still, tapping her fingers. Rogue slowly began to stand. 'Might as well ask her if she needs help.'

"As a matter of fact, I was waiting for someone." Rogue and St. John stiffened as the woman spoke out loud. How had she heard them? "Don't be alarmed," the woman said, a smile touching her lips. "The blind have other senses to rely on, me in particular."

This reassured the two young mutants somewhat, but something about the woman still unnerved them. The blind woman continued to tap her fingers against her knees. "Raven will be here shortly," she said, really to no one in particular. "She doesn't like leaving me alone, but I told her I had someone to meet and she couldn't be there."

St. John and Rogue exchanged glances. 'Strange,' he mouthed to Rogue, who stifled a giggle.

"You two haven't said a word to me," she said."You don't have to be afraid. My name's Irene. Come." She patted the space beside her. "It's been a long time since I've talked to anyone but Raven. Her friends aren't much for talk. I don't know why she keeps company with people like that. She can barely stand most of them. But I'm doing most of the talking. What are two young people like you doing here?"

What in the... Rogue could feel Carol's curiosity as she fought to the front of Rogue's mind. How did she know that you were "two young people?" Something's not right. St. John's glance to Rogue told her that he was thinking similar thoughts.

"We're, uh, on a vacation from school," St. John said lamely, shrugging his shoulders at Rogue. The normally confident boy was visibly unnerved, which did nothing to calm Rogue's nerves. "

Mmm." Irene nodded. "Sometimes you learn the best lessons outside of a classroom. I haven't seen a classroom since I was very young," she reminisced. "I had to leave after I lost my sight."

"What happened," Rogue asked. Carol warned her against being curious, but Rogue shoved the woman back in her mind. "Were ya in some kind of accident?"

Irene's face darkened and her finger tapping sped up. "No. Sometimes you just see things that your senses can't handle. I'm not completely without vision. My mind's eye does my seeing for me. I see much more clearly now than I ever did as a child."

Strange though she was, Irene exuded a serenity that reminded Rogue of the way Storm handled herself. The woman was as confident as a person who possessed two working eyes. In fact, she was far more confident and controlled than most people Rogue had met in her life. Rogue and St. John's nervous silence didn't seem to upset the woman. Instead, she seemed to almost anticipate it.

"What's going on here?" Rogue and St. John looked up to see a well-dressed woman with short, dark hair staring down at them. As they looked at her, a flash of something resembling recognition crossed her face. Impossibly, the woman seemed to grow colder. "Irene," she said, almost angrily.

"Raven." Irene didn't seem unnerved by the anger in her friend's voice. "I'm glad you got here in time to meet my two friends. This is St. John and Rogue."

Oh my god.

'Will you be quiet?' Rogue thought angrily. Of all the times for Carol to speak up.

But Rogue...

'Didn't ya hear me?'

Rogue...

'Ah said quiet.'

ROGUE. You. Didn't. Tell. Her. Your. Names.

Rogue's eyes widened and she gave St. John a look of fear. St. John looked like he was going to wet himself. "Telepath?" he mouthed quickly to her. Rogue shook her head, disagreeing.

A glance back at the two older women showed that Raven had not been oblivious to the exchange. Irene probably hadn't either, but her face revealed no concern. "We're going now, Irene," Raven hissed, taking her friend's arm.

"Aren't you going to invite them?" Everyone stiffened, save Irene, who continued to sit calmly. Even Raven was beginning to show some concern. "They're going to be our guests, Raven."

"We haven't accepted any invitation," Carol said, temporarily taking control over the currently incapacitated Rogue's body. Irene turned her unseeing eyes towards where Rogue sat.

"I didn't have to ask," she replied, as if explaining something to a small child. "I already know that you're going to follow us." Raven looked at the two young kids sharply.

Rogue, grabbing control back from Carol who gave an angry whelp, was about to ask the woman a question, but Irene stood and took Raven's hand. "Come on, Raven," she said, rubbing the other woman's hand reassuringly. "We have to set up a place for them to sleep. We have the extra bedroom and we can put a cot in the office.

The two young mutants stood and watched the other couple walk away. Raven gave a couple of almost menacing looks to St. John and Rogue as she escorted the other woman towards the park's exit. "Whoa," St. John said. Rogue nodded, echoing his sentiments. "Hey Rogue?"

"Hmm?" she replied, lost in thought.

"Before she - Irene - said anything... you knew you were gonna follow her, right?"

Rogue looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "I thought you might," he said, looking down. "And Rogue?"

"Yeah?"

"I was gonna do the same thing."

-----

True to Irene's prediction, the two mutants followed Raven and her companion back to their apartment building. They didn't bother to conceal themselves, and Raven made sure they knew that she was aware of their presence. "Apartment 301," she hissed to them, reluctantly, as they all stood outside a large gray apartment building. "Give us a few minutes to pick up."

St. John and Rogue eagerly acknowledged Raven's request. They weren't exactly in a hurry to enter the apartment. St. John, who had quit smoking a couple months before, was hell-bent on tracking down a pack of Camels before he went everywhere. "I think I've earned them," he said, fumbling in his pocket for some spare cash.

The two young mutants sat outside discussing the possible explanations. They ruled out telepath, since neither of them had picked up on the tell-tale signs of a psychic scanning. Most people were unable to pick up on the subtle traces of a telepathic scanning. Rogue and St. John, however, had spent enough time with Professor Xavier and Dr. Grey to learn the signs. Neither of them had picked up on the probing sensation. If she was a telepath, she was extremely good.

"Precognitive," Rogue said as Carol gave her the suggestion. St. John looked at her curiously. "Carol's met a couple of 'em," she explained. "There aren't many running around."

St. John nodded. "Makes sense," he said. "So what does that make Raven?"

"Psychopathic?" St. John snorted. "Dunno," Rogue said quietly. "Ah almost don't wanna know. Johnny, did it seem like, ah dunno, she knew us?"

"I don't think she knew me, Rogue." She looked at him sharply. "I'm just saying that if Magneto knew who you were, then maybe other mutants do too. Maybe this Raven knew Magneto."

Rogue probed back in her mind, looking for Erik, who was conspicuously absent. In fact, she wasn't able to pick up the slightest trace of his memories. Rogue grew nervous. "Ah hope you're wrong," she said, saying a silent prayer.

St. John put his cigarette out and stood up. "Shall we?" he said, offering her a hand. After checking that her gloves were securely on, Rogue took his hand and stood as well. They remained holding hands as Rogue pushed the call button for Apartment 301 - Darkholme/Adler. A moment later, there was a buzz and the front gat unlocked. With a last glance at each other, they cautiously stepped inside the long, dark hallway.

-----

Logan didn't need a telepath to tell him where Rogue was; his nose would suffice.

The scent trail told him that St. John and Rogue started their trek on foot. This scent was the easiest to follow, especially since with St. John's insistence on touching nearly every damned thing on the trail. 'Humph. Almost like he wants to be found.'

The trail got faint abruptly, eliciting a curse from Logan. They'd taken to flight. It seemed that McCoy's theory about Rogue permanently taking the powers might have been right. She'd never possessed someone's powers this long. Then again, she'd never deliberately tried to take someone's powers before.

Girl had a temper. Probably got that from him.

The wind was starting to pick up. Logan would probably lose the trail in a minute. 'Alright, we do this the hard way.'

Logan stopped and shut his eyes, creating a mental image of her in his head. 'Okay. Let's pretend I'm Marie and St. John. Where am I going?'

Their path was straight, not disorganized. They had a destination. The closest place was New York City. 'Best place to go when ya don't want to be found. Alright, Marie. You're going to New York. Where are you going?'

Definitely not Liberty Island, not unless she was a glutton for punishment. She'd stay away from Times Square - too crowded.

No, Marie was going to head for a large open area, where she had the best chance of avoiding contact with people. New York was extremely crowded, but there were places you could go to have some space. Logan just had to figure out where.

He growled to himself. 'Look at ya, playing babysitter. Can't believe you're chasing after some kid.'

But Logan knew that Marie wasn't just "some kid." There was something about the doe-eyed girl that brought out the protectiveness inside him. She was young and vulnerable. He supposed never being able to touch a person would keep you in almost a perpetual state of solitude. She was so young, TOO young to be forced to make it on her own. She should be going to parties and dating boys, not learning how to scrounge up dinner on the streets. No one knew what it was like to be alone better than Logan. For the better part of fifteen years, he had been a virtual hermit, only interacting with people when he needed too. He didn't mind it so much. Logan was used to it. He figured if the world didn't have to care than neither did he.

Rogue deserved someone to care about her.

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