What the hell happened last time? In a thrilling new plot we’ve never seen before, King Khan takes Storm to be his bride while the rest of the team runs around like chickens with their heads cut off. And Gambit is still in his speedos.

Oooh, dramatic fiery entrance, now we KNOW we’re in for something different gang! Bla bla bla, King Khan’s back story is that he likes taking over worlds… but poor baby is lonely because no woman is worthy of him. Wow, someone with a bigger ego than Magneto?

Moving on…

Shaitan shows up because he Won’t. Go. Away. King Khan places this black goo on his bride-to-be’s body to map her DNA so Shaitan can have her form. So that’s why he’s there. Whatever. Storm fights the goo, the aliens freak out over the changing weather patterns and I yawn s’more.

“Imagine the damage she could do!!” exclaims one of the little alien lackeys. What is this, the 90s FOX carton? Yeesh. The dialogue can’t get worse.

Bishop takes the POV for a moment to hop around for a bit. Man, those bright red gloves have got to go. At least we didn’t get “He is Lucas Bishop,” and then a drawn out speech that he’s a cop. More fighting, more narration on why the X-Men are there and why the world hates and fears them. Oh, and they’re facing really REALLY bad odds. I’m going to “guess” most of the X-Men will live threw this arc. That kinda takes away the impact of ‘impossible odds’ don’t you think?

Thunderbird 23 takes up a few panels but then thankful Rogue comes on to keep the bile from coming up. Rogue’s so adorable beating the crap out of stuff. If only we didn’t have to be told by Claremont that “what she loves best is scrapping” because we’d never be able to tell that from the art as she’s ripping apart a plane. Ahhh, and then he tells us Khan & her are surprisingly alike. Foreshadow? Gee golly, Claremont’s never been one to spell it out ye’all.

I take back everything I said about the bad dialogue. Baywatch & Neal 2.0 save random people in some incredibly badly written scene. Skip, rinse and repeat.

Tessa gets some characterization, and it’s good! She’s got the balls to save the world no matter what the cost. And just why did she let Viper shoot Storm? We know she played Shaw, but who’s to say she’s not also playing the X-Treme Team? There’s all sorts of shades of gray.

The best scene in the issue making it worth the $2.99 by itself, Thunderbird 23 & Neal 2.0 making out in the sewers. Okay… not “making out” but Neal 2.0 cries while Thunderbird 23 comforts him and hugs him in a passionate embrace. Ho!Yay “I’ll be your crying shoulder, I’ll be love’s suicide. I’ll be better when I’m older, I’ll be the greatest fan of your liiiiiiiiiiiiiife…”

Baywatch & Tessa talk shop. Neal 2.0 can’t be changed back to human (damnit!) and Baywatch aint too happy with Tessa playing big bad god. Well, Neal 2.0 DID choose it did he not? Maybe wonder twin sis should butt the hell out so we can get back to those two guys making out.

Wait, that would make me happy…

Instead we get Storm taking a bath. She’s being pampered like a queen. Funny cuz the collar around the neck makes me think slave. But I digress. More to the point, we’ve got Vargas being cryptic with Amy staring off at the tower. Last we saw her, she’s was being charmed by Gambit. Will that have anything to do with this arc? Maybe. Vargas does have the book which dealt with this, maybe a love-sick Amy sneaked a peek and will change sides to keep Gambit alive. Then we’ll get some weird triangle of Rogue/Gambit/Amy. Oh god, Amy is Sek.

Rogue has more control over her powers as she makes herself, Thunderbird 23 & Bishop as Sabertooth, Wolverine & Hulk respectively. So now Rogue’s got TK & TP. Along with flight, super strength, invulnerability, bone claws, optic blasts, etc. etc. But she still can’t see to do anything with that hair. Honey, if your hair is that limp, love the ponytail. So the X-Treme team gets into the enemies outfits so they can sneak on to their base and no one will no. For a group that’s taken over a bunch of worlds, I’m gathering they sure aint none too bright. Rogue gets to stay behind because she’s her own one person army. Me thinks Bishop & gang don’t want her around because she’ll add something to the story. Heh. And we can’t forget the super cute scene where Rogue is upset (but not throwing herself around the room in a hissy-fit) about having to maybe kill Gambit. Bishop comes off as a bit of a jerk, but he’s a cop.

And closing out this issue is King Khan trying to impress Slave Storm with horse back riding, dancing and fine art. What? When did the aliens drags this threw the portal? Not seeing this rank up there on “must haves for domination plans.” But King Khan knows best. To cap off his night of wooing her, he grabs her by the throat telling her to not fight. Slave Storms buys it, I guess she thinks her soon coming black eyes will be the new pink. So she gives him a big kiss. THE END!

Coming up next; Strikeback! I'm going to go out on a limb and say the X-Treme Team is going to attack the aliens.

At least the art is pretty.

-- Sara